


Getting My Shit Together

by hiidee



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: 50/50 chance of crying but it’s worth it, Alternate Universe - No Ghouls (Tokyo Ghoul), Canonical Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Goth!Kaneki, Hide is an emancipated minor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pastel!Hide, Sunshine Boy Nagachika Hideyoshi, They find hope in eachother, i hope it makes sense, its fluffier than it sounds i promise, kanehide - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 12:03:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiidee/pseuds/hiidee
Summary: Ever since Kaneki’s mother passed away, he realized (and accepted) his worthlessness. But when he meets someone like Hide, he wants to change that feeling, and hopes  to the blonde.They do relate, but not in ways Kaneki wanted.-better than it sounds, just read it
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Getting My Shit Together

**Author's Note:**

> Finally an accomplished work from yours truly! It’s been rough, but I’ve been re-reading my favorite KaneHide stories to stop the pain (lmao).
> 
> Here’s somethings to remember this:  
\- Hide is an EMANCIPATED MINOR, which means he is his own guardian basically (look up the word to know what it means fully)  
\- There is a trigger warning for Kaneki’s aunt because she’s abusive (it’s not very detailed abuse, but still there)  
\- Also trigger warning for Hides past child abuse and his self harm scars (that’s not detailed either, just mentioned.
> 
> You have been warned guys of the warnings of these topics, so please don’t get mad at me when you see it >:( 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this piece (that was written in about an hour)
> 
> (More notes at the bottom)

We’ve all been there, the days in high school where you experiment with yourself and figure out your inner personality. There’s the jocks, the nerds, the preps, and even the class clowns. You meet friends and make great memories during this time.

For Kaneki Ken, it’s a little bit more than that. 

During his elementary and school youth, he would be considered a nerd. He even won a school spelling bee, he was only 11 at the time as well! He didn’t have many friends, but he wasn’t bothered by the fact. He had his mother, and his books to keep him company. 

That changed around age 13 however, as his mother passed away from working herself overboard. That was the time his aunt had taken legal custody of him, and he gained some bad habits along the way. 

The habits molded his way of thinking. After all, hearing how worthless you are makes you believe it right? If you can’t be any use or help, then what was your purpose? 

Now he was in high school, and he was considered to be in the ‘punk’ category. Though, Kaneki himself wouldn’t consider himself at all of the sort, sure he might’ve looked different, but that didn’t change much at all to him.

But then again, dying your hair white and painting your nails every weekend was pretty different from what other people were used to out of him. He stopped wearing his oversized sweaters and slacks, and changed them to jeans and plain tees. 

But that’s what he wanted, to show how he felt. 

To express himself.

When he reached his third year in high school, a new student transferred to his school district and into his own classroom. 

His life was changed shortly after.  
-  
Kaneki was sitting in the back of the class again that day, inspecting his nails slightly. The paint had been chipped at some point, and that just wouldn’t cut it. 

He made himself a mental note to repaint them when he made it home. He heard the chatter in the classroom, and his mind wandered to what he had heard other students say about him.

‘Look at Kaneki, he looks even more depressed than usual.’

‘I wonder what changed. Was it his mom's passing, or things that happened at his new house? I think he lives with his aunt now.’

‘I’m sure he’s a satanist, look at him’

Not that Kaneki cared of course (at least he told himself that), but he chuckled lightly at the thought of being a satanist. 

His mind has stopped thinking though, when his teacher came to view with another student with him. Everyone stopped talking and turned their attention to their teacher, and the unfamiliar person that had been dragged into the hellhole of a classroom. 

“Student’s, I’d like to introduce a new person into our classroom family today,” He motioned his hand to the student, who looked like he was extremely nervous.

“This is Hideyoshi, please treat him with kindness.”

The student waved with a smile, and that’s when Kaneki noticed that this guy was really fucking cute.

“Hideyoshi, please sit next to Kaneki back there.” 

Kaneki slightly raised his hand to motion to himself, and the student (‘Hideyoshi’ Kaneki had to remind himself) quickly ran to the seat on Kaneki’s left, sitting and setting down his things. 

The teacher then started his lesson in Asian history, but Kaneki wasn’t paying attention, as his attention had focused to the new body next to him. 

Hideyoshi had dark blonde hair, that was tied into a nice high ponytail, and brown eyes that seemed to go with it perfectly. Kaneki noticed that Hideyoshi had to be wearing some type of lipstick or something as well, since his lips were a rather glossy looking shade of magenta

But his fashion, Kaneki noticed was unique in a very strange way. 

Was this Hideyoshi’s way to express himself too?

The blonde was wearing a pair of soft blue colored skinny jeans (that made him look really curvy around the hips to Kaneki) and a nice bright yellow sweater that was decorated with pink polka dots. Hide also had a few rings, most were with cute symbols on top of them, like flowers and other cute things of the sort. 

Kaneki was intrigued by the blondes surprising confidence to wear that type of thing as a male in society. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Hide’s voice calling out to him.

“Hey, um Kaneki right?”

His voice was sweet and light, making Kaneki jump in his seat from the tone. He decided to play it off, and try not to ruin this moment that he was enjoying and trying to break down his thoughts about at the same time.

“Y-yeah what is it?”

Hides form shifted from sitting forward to facing Kaneki directly. 

“I was wondering if maybe you could show me around campus after school ? Everyone else has looks so busy and I’m not sure if you have plans or anything but-“

“Yes.”

Kaneki noticed Hideyoshi looked a bit surprised at being cut off, but that surprise was turned into a delightful grin that Kaneki thought was rather breathtaking as it showed off the blondes pearly white teeth, that had a light yellow band around his top and bottom jaw.

He had fucking braces too.

“Thanks, it means a lot to me.”

“No problem Hideyoshi.”

“Ew no, just ‘Hide’ is fine.”

“I- Okay, Hide.”

Kaneki decided that he liked that name ‘Hide’, and just hoped that maybe this was a breakthrough for him to make a possible new friend.

Maybe he could learn to wear bright colors too.

-  
Kaneki learned a lot about Hide just three days after his transfer to the class.

The blonde was 16 (only a few months young at than Kaneki himself) really liked animals (bunnies were his favorite which Kaneki noted), different arrangements of music, and doing his makeup to match his emotions. He also did babysitting and pet sitting if he was needed as a job.

But the most surprising fact was that Hide lived alone.

He was an emancipated minor.

The statement surprised Kaneki at first, to wonder why and how Hide was alone. Where were this kids parents? 

How was he paying bills? And buying food? Maybe the babysitting and pet sitting job?

Why was someone to bright… so alone?

He didn’t ask Hide for details, but he wanted to know more after this was exposed to Kaneki’s knowledge.

Kaneki wouldn’t lie when he was worried about Hide hearing the strange rumors revolving around him, since he was beginning to like Hides positive vibes quite a bit.

Dare he say he relied on the blondes attitude more than coffee.

They had been speaking for about months weeks when Hide had asked for Kaneki’s number. Kaneki, being the man he was, couldn’t resist and exchanged his number with the blonde. 

After that confirmation of his new friendship, he opened up to Hide a bit more. Come to find out, Hide enjoyed a lot of the things he did! He liked coffee (but unlike Kaneki who took his black Hide loaded his with cream and sugar), he liked reading books as much as Kaneki did, and he didn’t ask questions that were too personal about Kaneki, such as why he dyed his hair white or why he had bruises on his arms at times. 

He could tell Hide wanted to ask, but refrained himself, and Kaneki was grateful for that

He had noticed that Hide tended to be squeamish on the days Kaneki had bruises on his body too.

Though Kaneki had Hides number, he wasn’t one to text or call first. Who would Hide want to hear from someone so pathetic?

One particular night though, he forced himself to make contact with the blonde on a deeper level.

-  
Kaneki has gotten home from school late that day, holing up in a nearby coffee shop on his own. He and Hide conversed (Hide leading the conversation as usual) about simple things, though one topic of conversation hit harder emotionally than any of the other ones.

Hide had mentioned how so many people at school were headstrong and confident around their friends, but their emotions were not in the proper place. 

After that conversation, Hide had left early from school, claiming he had an appointment. 

Kaneki found it strange, for Hide to leave after something so vividly described and the blonde hadn’t mentioned leaving early at all before.

Despite only knowing him for about 10 months now, he knew Hide rarely missed school for things.

So Kaneki left as well, ditching class to go to the coffee shop and get a few new books. He knew his aunt was going to yell at him for sure, but he didn’t care much anymore. He would take his punishment like a champ, as he knew if he didn’t show any emotion she would quickly get bored of him and eventually ignore him for the rest of the night. 

But he was wrong.

As soon as he walked into the apartment, he heard the angry footsteps from upstairs coming down to him, signaling his aunt was indeed pissed the fuck off.

“You little bastard, where the fuck were you today?” 

Kaneki flinched as the woman marched straight into his face and personal bubble, trying to stay calm.

“I went to school-“

“Bullshit! I got messages from that damned school, telling me you missed one or more classes today?”

“No I-“

“So your gonna keep lying in my fuckin’ face?”

Smack

Kaneki felt tears swell up in his eyes, but managed to keep his composure nonetheless. 

He was used to this right? It was his fault, right?

“ I’m sorry-“

His aunt suddenly backed up, pointing a finger in his face, her expression showing seriousness and anger.

“You know what kid, get your fucking shit and get the fuck out of my house. Since your grown all of a sudden and can ditch classes, you can leave.”

She turned to walk up the stairs again, but not before facing him and saying,

“If your not gone within the next thirty minutes either I’m going to fucking get rid of you myself, just as my sister should of when she found out she was having your pathetic ass.”

Kaneki waited a good five minutes before going to his small room quickly, and realizing she was serious. And even if she wasn’t serious, he didn’t want to be there for much longer than he needed to be.

He slowly put his important items in a large black trash bag, trying to figure out,

Where was he going to go now?

He had no money for a hotel, no friends to-

‘Hide, call hide and ask for a favor’

Friends asked for favors right? 

His inner gut was telling him to just sleep under a bridge or something, but his heart told him to call the blonde for just a bit of leniency. Even just a bit of advice wouldn’t hurt right?

He ended up picking up his phone even though he didn’t want to.

K. Kaneki: My aunt just kicked me out, what do I do?

N. Hideyoshi: Meet me at the park by the school. I’m on my way.

After the quickly responded the text, Kaneki quickly finished packing his things and found himself walking to the park carrying the bag containing all of his belongings.

-  
Walking to the park to meet Hide seemed like forever, but he knew it was because he was trying to find a decent explanation to the blonde. 

They had been friends for how long, about 10 or 11 months give or take? 

Hide probably thought so low of him now.

Kaneki snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the familiar bright blonde hair up ahead.

Hide was sitting at one of the benches with his head faced lowered down, his ponytail hung loosely low over his shoulder. 

Kaneki also noticed Hide was wearing a pair of loosely fit sweatpants, and a yellow hoodie.  
The blonde looked up as Kaneki grew only a few feet from him.

Kaneki wasn’t sure what to think when Hide had quickly ran up to him, and was pulled into an embrace from the blonde. 

Kaneki dropped the bag, and found himself hugging Hide back. 

He cursed at himself when he felt the all too familiar feeling of hot tears start to leak on his face, which fell as tiny drops on Hides exposed neck.

Hide pulled back, and Kaneki realized that Hide wasn’t wearing any makeup either. He looked all natural, so stunningly beautiful.

Hide nodded towards the bag, with a sad looking smile on his face.

“That’s yours?”

Kaneki used his black tipped nails to wipe his tears. He probably looked so gross to Hide.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Okay, now… pick it up and let’s go home. It’s really cold yeah?”

Kaneki nodded, but didn’t say anything. He found himself following the blonde to wherever destination he had in mind for Kaneki.

It was going to be a long night.

-

The pair arrived to Hides small apartment in about 10 minutes, and Kaneki was nervous to all ends. His first time at a person's house and it was under this circumstance.

How pitiful.

“Just letting you know, it may not be in the best condition right now. I’m sorry-“

“It’s okay. I understand.”

Hide nodded at Kaneki’s understanding words and opened the door, allowing them both to the apartment.

Kaneki walked in first, and observed his surroundings quickly.

The living room was small, with nothing but a small an extremely small table and pillow cushions surrounding it (Kaneki assumed this was where Hide did homework, as their math homework was scattered on top of the table), and on the floor against the wall were many tubs and containers that looked to be filled with much bright clothing. 

There was a small laptop hooked to the end of one wall.

“I’m sorry it’s not much to be a living room, but it’s only me here so I never thought to buy actual furniture for it.”

Kaneki managed to smile at Hide, running a hand through his snowy white locks.

“I like it, it’s really cute.. and it mirrors your personality a bit.”

Hide giggled (Kaneki had to hold back from reaching out to squish the blondes cheeks) and motioned for Kaneki to bring his bag towards with his movements.

“You flatter me Kaneki, follow me. You can put your stuff in my room.”

Kaneki did as he was told and followed Hide down the narrow hallway to the bedroom.

Would that mean he and Hide would have to share a room?

Kaneki’s eyes widened slightly as he walked into the room. 

Setting his bag down with a thud he gazed over the rooms setting, taking it in.

There was a large mess of blankets on the floor filled with pillows and stuffed animals (it looked really comfortable now that Kaneki thought about it). There was another sheet that draped over it, that made the nice fluff of blankets and pillows look castle like. 

On the walls there were some posters (most were anime that Kaneki has heard about) and occasionally little star stickers on the walls. On the opposite side of Hides ‘bed’ (Kaneki didn’t know what else to call it other than a bed since Hide had obviously been sleeping on the blankets) was a mirror and another small table next to it. 

Next to the table Kaneki noticed that there was another tub that looked as if it was filled with eyeshadows and other cosmetics, he even saw a few necklaces inside of it.

Hide must have caught Kaneki observing deeply, since he spoke up in a small voice.

Never had Hide ever seemed to small in front of him.

“Sorry I know it’s not much, and I know the stuffed animals are weird-“

“It’s not weird to me. It’s really cute… and makes me feel.. comforted if it makes sense. I like it.”

Hide smiled, a small blush forming on his lightly tanned cheeks.

“Thank you, means a lot.”

Kaneki hummed in response, before talking.

“What do you want me to do now?”

“Let’s put your things away so we can talk. Try to get comfortable, since you might be staying here for a while.” Hide had said with a wink.

Kaneki smiled at the gesture.

“Help me with this bag?”

“Of course!”  
-

They had finished going through Kaneki’s bag after an hour. 

Kaneki has put his clothes in a spare tub Hide had and put them in the hallway cabinet. He was going to be sleeping in Hides room (the blonde insisted for him to ‘get comfy with the stuffies’ ), thus the duo making another pallet of blankets and pillows next to Hides for Kaneki to enjoy.

When they were done, they had sat down pressed against the wall on top of Hides makeshift bed, trying to catch a bit of breath from the activity.

Kaneki had his phone on the charger next to them, and was currently waiting for Hide to talk to him.

“So,” the blonde started.

Fuck

“What happened at home today for your aunt to kick you out? And has she done it before at all?”

Kaneki sighed, and faced Hide as a small bunny plushie was stuffed in his lap from the blonde, a way of urging for him to continue.

“She got really angry when I came home a bit late.. usually we just ignores me whenever I do and that’s that. But tonight he mentioned how I ditched school-“

“You ditched? Why!?”

Kaneki took a deep breath, finding a grip on the small stuffed bunny.

“You had an appointment and left early, I didn’t want to be alone at school. You do understand that.. your my…”

“Closest Person?”

‘More like a crush’ 

“Yeah, something like that. I just missed the last two periods to go to the coffee shop. That’s all.”

Hide sighed and placed a soft hand on Kaneki’s arm.

“What else happened? After you made it home, I mean?”

“She slapped me in my face… told me to leave.. before she took me out like my mother should have..”

Hide looked shocked at the statement, and as if he was about to cry from just hearing it.

Kaneki looked down into his lap, trying to stay steady. 

This was his chance, to be open. Maybe start another life, if plans were made. Maybe he could talk to Hide about his thoughts, and see how Hide felt about their current relationship.

“Yeah.. I didn’t wanna call and bother you.. but I really wanted to see you if something were to happen to me after. But then again.. I wanted to know more about you too.. to get my questions asked.”

Hide squeezer his own hands together, squeezing them together as if he could disappear into them.

“I wanna know why-“

“You wanna know why I live alone?” The blonde asked quietly, just loud enough for Kaneki to hear him.

Kaneki’s eyes widened as Hide unwinded before him.

“After my mom passed away when I was 12, my dad started to drink. He hated me, despised me because I looked like my mother so much. He would just lock me in my room. But then he found out I liked all of these ‘frilly’things, and decided I was no son of his. I left because I didn’t want to hurt myself anymore.”

Kaneki didn’t say anything, but remembered vaguely seeing Hides legs, remembering the small scars on them. 

He felt himself start to cry at the thought.

“Hide..”

He pulled Hide into a hug and held him there for a minute, letting the smaller male let out small but choked sobs.

This was probably why enjoyed his time baby sitting and watching animals, to inspire others to love themselves.

Hide cried for him because he understood how it felt to be hated for things that weren’t your fault.

Hide understood, and that’s why he was allowed to stay in the blondes safe haven for however long he needed.

Instead of pushing towers darker expression, Hide chose to wear bright colors to feel self confident.

“Hide,”

Kaneki pulled back from the hug, and looked at Hide in the face, a stern expression there as he gripped onto the shaking shoulders.

“Your dad was wrong. Your so beautiful, and there’s nobody else like you. Your worthy of anyone, and anything.”

Hide stopped shaking slightly, looking into Kaneki’s eyes.

“Let me stay here with you, I’ll get a job to help you. And I’ll be there for you just as you are for me. I promise.”

Kaneki took his chance and gave a quick but deep kiss to Hide’s quivering lips. The blonde smiled afterwards, holding Kaneki’s hoodie.

“Helping each other out huh? I like the sound of that.”

Kaneki smiled, and help Hide some more.

He would surely get his shit together, for himself and Hide’s sake.

**Author's Note:**

> Proud to say this is my final work until HideKane week (December 9th - December 15th), which is something I wanna participate in this year. I’m going to try and start on my prompts early so I can successfully post stories when the time is right (better prepared and early than not) :)! 
> 
> Also sorry if there are any mistakes, my ACER is being borrowed, so I’m using my phone! 
> 
> I’m currently in need of Beta readers if available, so if someone can contact me on my tumblr (@/hiideevii) that would be appreciated! I will also post updates on my tumblr, so if you’d like them and to get to know me a bit better then your more than welcome to visit the page :)
> 
> -  
Please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed, enjoy your day/night!<3


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